The worse thing someone can say to a twin mom is "I know what you're going through I have 2 kids a year (or 2) apart." I want to scream in response, but instead I just smile and nod. Having 2 children at the exact same developmental stage is, quite frankly, nothing the same as 2 singletons, no matter how close in age.
I was talking to mom of triplets and I mentioned how I was thankful my multiples were only a pair. She said she was thankful she didn't have quads! The fact is we handle what we're given.
Here are our current trials...
~ They constantly take what the other has and then the accosted cries as if the piece of junk just taken was his favorite teddy bear. Once or twice a day, ok. Sixty-two times a day, not ok. It is utterly exhausting. They aren't old enough to work it out, so I constantly intervene. Keep in mind when this happens one baby is left wailing as if his kitten just got run over, so ignoring the situation is virtually impossible.
~ Ethan is a big time mamas boy. Fortunately, Owen accommodates this by being flexible in who helps and comforts him. The problem is if there's a slight chance Owen needs or wants me, Ethan runs and jumps in my lap. And let me just say, those boys do not like to share my lap.
~ We don't have a fenced yard. In fact, we play mostly in the front yard and driveway. It's mostly fun and games, the problems is there are 2 of them and they're constantly into something or trying to escape into the street. It's a constant workout keeping up with them. And don't even get me started with the issues with one always running in the garage...
~ Every 1 year old is learning to test their boundaries. The twins have each other to help them do so. For example, if one has a bright idea to pull something off a shelf, they have a buddy to help them reach it or help them destroy it when they get it. The bigger problem is when I punish one, the other laughs causing the one in trouble to smile. Talk about inefficient discipline.
~ Getting outside and into the car with only one adult proves to be quite a challenge. I really should poll other twin moms on how they do it. First, just getting them out the door is difficult because they can't walk down the couple stairs leading outside. And I have to keep my hands on both of them or else they bolt. How am I suppose to get one strapped in his carseat while the other is loose? Well, it is possible but not easy. Fortunately, with my mom here, it's not often I take the twins out alone. By the way, it's much easier to get them out wherever we're going because I can put them straight into the stroller one at a time.
~ They are copy cats. Say one takes his bib off while eating, a favorite past time of Ethan, Owen sees and copys. Now I have 2 toddlers with food in their hair and on their shirts! Hopefully, they will copy positive things too.
~ We often bathe them together now. Getting them both out of the tub and into their room before someone pees on the floor proved to be quite a challenge! The fix: diaper the first one out of the tub (in the bathroom) while the other one is still in the tub.
Of course, having twins is also a blessing. They have a bond many people never experience. The love between them is obvious. They kiss each other sporadically through the day. They are so excited to see each other after having been separated, even if it's just through naptime. And I foresee this bond only to get stronger as they get older.
And there is nothing like raising 2 little ones in the exact same stage of development. It's so often just freakin adorable! I mean, really, is there anything better than watching 2 one-year-olds run to each other just to give sloppy kisses to one another? And it's fascinating to watch how different they are, physically and emotionally.
If Ryan is asked which is his favorite he says "Ethan and Owen." Such a good big brother.
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