Friday, December 30, 2011

Surprise...it's TWINS


Keeping this secret for nearly 2 months has been exhausting to say the least. So it was quite a relief to let the cat, or shall I say cats, out of the bag on Christmas.

Each parent received the same gift; a framed ultrasound picture with a note 'Surprise, its Twins!'. Since we were in NY for Christmas, Chris's parents received the picture directly from us. As Judy opened the gift she said 'I think I know what this is' to which I replied 'I'm pretty sure you don't!'. She was surprised.

For my mom, I sent the gift home with her from her last trip here, only I had put someone elses name on it so she wouldn't open it before Christmas. Sneaky me. I then called my brother and asked him to switch the tag on Christmas day and record her response if possible. Apparently he was caught a bit of guard when she first opened it but here she is a few seconds later...



My dad got the same gift, delivered by my brother. Though Dustin did capture his response on video, I've yet to see it. However, my dad did tell me it was the best Christmas present ever.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

all things Ryan: 18 months

My baby boy is 1 and a 1/2 years old. These last 18 months flew by and they are quite a blur. I can't believe how many milestones we've witnessed in such a short time. And now my baby boy is going to be a big brother! I can't even begin to describe how much I love this little boy. His laid back personality has undoubtedly eased my transition to motherhood.

He's weighing in at 25 pounds. He's got a mouth full of teeth, I'd report how many if he'd let me look in there for more than 2 seconds. What I do know is he gets several teeth at a time and he handles it like a champ. Here's a very tired chair picture...


~ He's so caring. When another child is crying Ry looks at me panicked, like 'mom help him'. He has to be reassured the child is ok or he starts crying too.

~ He's become quite the snuggle bug. He loves to give kisses and hugs. Sometimes he's in the middle of playing, stops, gives me a kiss, then carries on. Melt my heart.

~ There can't possible be a more regimented child out there. He loves his routines. And I love that I can count on his routines to bring us peace.

~ Speaking of routine, here's our current bedtime routine...Chris gives Ryan a bath, brushes his teeth and hair, and gets him in his jammies. Then we read him a book as a family. Ryan and Chris each offer me a hand to pull me up off the floor or out of the chair (he's such a copy cat). Chris carries Ryan to his bedroom, I turn on the 'rain', and we put Ry's baby to bed on the changing table (more on that in a sec). Then we play a game to get Ryan to Mama (fly to Mama, hide from Mama, jump to Mama, etc). Once he's in my arms Ryan leans in for a family hug, he presses my head and Chris's head together to make us kiss, and then he kisses each of us (sometimes its a triple kiss). Then Chris leaves the room. I put Ryan in his bed, we turn on the fish tank and the glow worm, Ryan gives me a hug from bed and then waves me goodnight. I love this routine.

~ Ryan's been loving on his baby doll. He gives her kisses and hugs, pats her back, and claps her hands. A couple times he was holding her while I was reading touch and feel books and he touched her hands to the different textures. So sweet.

~ He has wild and crazy, beautifully blonde, curly hair. His many cowlicks will give him trouble for years to come. He's had 2 haircuts thus far, of which he's certainly not a fan.


~ He mimics everything. It's amazing what he's learning when no one is looking. He brought me my robe and slippers one morning when he wanted me to get out of bed! In addition to copying us, he likes us to play 'copy cat' with him.

~ He throws a mean temper tantrum.

~ He's got quite a fascination with babies, which is obviously a good thing right now. He loves to look at babies when we are out and about. He particularly loved his baby cousin Carter. He wanted to hold his hand and kiss his head. And when Carter was lying, peacefully I might add, on the floor, Ry insisted I pick him up (which I did happily).


~ He throws when he's angry or frustrated. I hope this is a short lived phase.

~ He can point to his head, neck, eyes, mouth, tongue, teeth, nose, feet, toes, legs, arms, hands, fingers, and cheeks. Just watch out when he's pointing to your eyes!

~ He requires all his 'hurts' be kissed.

~ He loves the outdoors. We have to drag him back inside. He particularly loves to go searching for squirrels (or as we call it - squirrel hunting). Oh, and extreme temperatures are of no concern to him.



~ He's a pretty quiet kid. When he does say words its in a whisper and with a smile.

~ He dances when the mood strikes but not on command!

~ He is still the most loved baby in the whole world!

Monday, December 26, 2011

thoughts along the way...

Even though many aspects of this adventure have been kept hush hush I've been keeping a 'blog log' to post when the time is right. And its time.

Written 10-17-11
We had 12 frozen embryos from our previous IVF. The plan, same as last time, transfer 2 embryos. Initially, 3 were defrosted, only 1 survived. So, 3 more were defrosted, 2 of which survived. Yes, that makes 3 'survived' embryos, but only 2 were used.

Which brings me to this, every once in awhile I totally panic at the thought of having twins. Sure, the odds are about 30% that there are 2 babies, but that means the odds of having only 1 baby are 70%! Taking care of a newborn and a toddler is already daunting. Taking care of TWO newborns AND a toddler is bound to be downright impossible, right? So, why put in 2 embryos and risk twins, the answer is easy; We put in 2 last time and only 1 hung on. Don't get me wrong, whether this pregnancy results in 1 or 2 babies, I will be thrilled. Twins just present more, um, challenges.

When I'm not totally panicked about having twins, I'm worried about miscarrying. It seems as if I know hundreds of people who've recently lost pregnancies. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration but its been several people. I'm sure also playing into the fear is the fact that I was told I lost the pregnancy last time (which of course I didn't). Anyway, as my hubbie says, positive thoughts!

Written 10-21-11
I've had a headache for three days now. Of course, I can't take my usual arsenal of drugs. It wont go away! I took a percocet two nights ago and not only did it not help but it made me sick! I just took a lortab and while it did work, It makes me feel drunk and very sleepy (which really limits it's usage when caring for a toddler). And the trade off is headache for stomachache. Let's just say it's not a fair trade.

Written 10-28-11
We have 6 days til we get to see our baby, or babies, that are causing me so much trouble. My debilitating headache passed (after a trip to the OB and some demerol) just in time for severe morning sickness to settle in. Or rather, ALL.DAY.SICKNESS. With Ryan I was somewhat sick but this takes the cake. My nausea laughs at the efforts of phenergan and zofran. Today is day 7 of complete misery. I have a stash of saltines by my nightstand, in my car, in the diaper bag, and at work. I'm so sick of saltines, no pun intended.

As all this was going on my mom happened to be in town, I had to practically lie to her all weekend. Not only did I hide 'all things fertility' such as drugs, needle boxes, and our precious embryo pictures, I even said we were planning to try for #2 after the holidays. I wonder if she figured it out and is waiting for me to tell her. Seriously, I have no idea if I'll make it til Christmas!

Written 11-4-11
Yesterday, Chris met Ryan and I at the RE's office for an ultrasound (7w4d). I was so nervous I was shaking and sweating. Chris held Ryan in one hand and held my hand in the other. As soon as the image appeared on the screen Chris and I saw exactly what we both suspected, more on that in a minute. The doctor immediately moved the wand to look at my ovaries and as he did so he reassured us that things looked ok and that it would take him a minute to get oriented (such a crock but I still loved the reassurance). He then moved over and showed us our sweet baby, measuring about 10mm, with a fluttering heartbeat. He said 'looks great!' Then he moved over and showed us baby number 2, measuring about the same, also with a fluttering heartbeat! 'Both look great, congratulations!' TWINS. That first image Chris and I had seen was both babies!

I was instructed to continue my drug regimen until 12 weeks, have a few more drug level labs, and to make an appointment with the OB (which I did and is scheduled for 11-16-11).

Written 11-6-11
It's officially been 2 weeks of non stop nausea. It's taking a toll of my mental sanity. I've resorting to investigating alternative therapies like ginger and motion sick bands...desperate? Yes.

Written 11-16-11
First OB appointment was fairly standard. Labs, flu shot, pap, education, ultrasound, etc.. Everythings looking good.

Written 11-24-11
We couldn't wait any longer. The cats out of the bag. Well, at least one cat is. We're saving the news of twins for Christmas.

Written 12-15-11
Second OB appointment. This was the first time we got to hear the babies heartbeats. I love that sound. Both heart rates were in the 160's, perfect. I learned I will be seeing my OB every 2 weeks til 20 weeks and then weekly after that. Seriously? Seems like overkill to me but better be safe than sorry. The good news is I will have an ultrasound monthly to check on the babies growth!

Written 12-19-11
Both Chris's parents and my parents have asked if it was twins and we said no, a singleton pregnancy was confirmed. My mom was in town this weekend and directly asked me if I was having twins and just holding out on her. I said no. Does she believe me? Not sure. Only 6 more days til the secrets out, thank God!

Written 12-20-11
I'm 14 weeks and 2 days today. That's 2nd trimester. Why, oh, why am I still so sick? All I want for Christmas is relief.

Written 12-25-11
The secrets out. More on that soon.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Ryan & Santa (and Mama)


I had no intention of getting Ryan's picture with Santa this year as he's in peak stranger danger mode...and whose stranger to a toddler than a fat man in a red suit with a long beard? Well, we happened upon a Santa at a party, and as suspected, Ryan wanted nothing to do with the big guy. The plan was for Santa to leave, let us sit down, then sneak behind us. As you can see by Ryan's expression, he caught on.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

FET #1

Yes, I'm pregnant. No, it didn't just happen! We found out on Ocotober 10th that our first attempt at FET (frozen embryo transfer - the same as IVF except we used embryos from Ryan's cycle) was successful. We planned to wait til Christmas to tell our families but the wait nearly killed me, so we made it a Thanksgiving surprise instead. For those of you who want the details here they are...

FET #1:

  • Mid-September 2011: Start estrogen pills

  • September 25th: Start Progesterone injections

  • September 27th: Antibiotics (4 times a day for 4 days)

  • September 27th: Steroids for 4 days

  • September 30th: Valium then transfer of 2 perfect blastocysts!

  • October 10th: BFP! 10dp5dt - HCG 414

  • October 12th: 12dp5dt - HCG 840

  • October 14th: low estrogen level, increase estrogen pills from 2 to 3 X a day

  • November 3rd: 40 IM (um, big) shots thus far (oh, as if the pain wasn't bad enough, I developed a allergic reaction-itching!), 7w4d US = happy healthy heartbeat!

  • November 11th: Estrogen and Progesterone labs, estrogen pills decreased to 2 X day, progesterone decreased from 2ml to 1.5ml

  • November 16th: first OB appointment, 9w3d US = HR 170!

  • November 31st: more labs, decreased estrogen pills to 1 X day, progesterone decreased to 1ml.

  • December 4th: After nearly 80 shots (in a mere 2 spots on my behind) and countless pills, I'm FINALLY done with meds! First trimester DONE...let the sickness subside (more on that later)!
  • Thursday, December 1, 2011