The Nitty Gritty

This is our morphed child! I found a website that morphs pictures of two people. While I did morph myself with Brad Pitt, this baby is actually the morph of Chris and I.


I asked for opinions (thank you to everyone who emailed, called, and posted), but then I realized I didn’t really give enough facts to support much of an opinion. First, when you look at the statistics between doing injectables, 15% chance of working, and IVF, 50% chance of working it seems obvious to do IVF. Here’s the zinger…

One round of injectables = $200
One round of IVF = ~$12,000

Nope, you read that right. The zeros are correct! It's certainly financially worth it to try the injectables again but I'm not sure it's emotionally woth it anymore.

Now, for the second…

As for adoption, contrary to what people believe, there are not an abundance of babies out there. There are however an abundance of children that need homes. Cost to adopt a baby in the US ~ $10,000-$20,000. Cost to adopt a child in the foster care system ~ 0. At this time we want a baby (figures, I always want what is more expensive;).

An adoption worker recently told me that many people give there babies to people who can not have a child and who do not already have a child. This makes sense because they what to feel as if they are giving a couple something they could never have otherwise. So, with that said, if we do have a baby through IVF we could still adopt afterwards for baby #2, but it is possible less birthmothers would choose us. Another thing I was told is that birthmothers often choose young couples and in the adoption world we are as young as it gets (the longer we wait the less young we get;).

Also, when you pay the adoption fees you will have a baby in the end vs. when you pay the IVF fees you may have a baby. What if we spend all of our money on IVF and it fails will we have enough to move on to adoption?? Truth be told, Chris and I would work overtime and find a way but it wouldn’t be ideal.

So, why not adopt now and do IVF later? Turns out women in their mid-30’s are considered senior citizens in the IF world. In other words, the younger you do IVF the better your odds.

Yep, we are pretty much screwed either way. We don’t want an only child. In fact, we have considered adopting a baby and then moving forth with IVF right away. We think once we have a baby then we will be less stressed about having a baby…make sense?

What I’d really like to do is move ahead with the adoption process while doing IVF. However, it appears that many agencies do not allow this. There thinking is that you still want a biological child but you will settle for an adopted one. Really, I just want a baby!

One of my biggest hesitations with adoption is that I will be sitting around helpless while we wait and I will go insane…no literally, insane. As I was recently reminded, patience is not a virtue of mine (thanks Summer). At least with IVF I will have many, many appointments and procedures and I will feel as if I am doing something. On the other hand, all the appointments with my job…man oh man.

Anyway, we have our consultation with our RE next Wednesday and the adoption orientation meeting a day later. While, I still believe we will move ahead with IVF we both want to explore our options. This is offically my longest post ever....